I really should behave myself here, but it's me so I won't.
There were two new people at knitting this past Monday, J & D. J is not a new knitter, but she's a tad... ummm... off. Instead of putting her project onto a circular needle when there were enough stitches, she just added in another DPN. Now, that's all well and good... but... when one of the needles you're using IS a circular and you've got five or so DPNs hanging in the project, I'd think it would be obvious, especially since those DPNs were pretty loaded up with stitches.
Then there's D, who took up knitting after breaking up with her boyfriend. She needed a substitute for him, which probably means she'll dump knitting as soon as she finds a new boyfriend. So there the poor child is, wielding 14-inch metal straights for a 20-stitch scarf. And completely did not get the idea of circulars. If she drops a needle, she could lose the whole scarf... so I handed her my luscious knitting (Lisa Souza Cashmere Silk) on circs and told her to drop one of the needles. You could see the fear on her face that she was going to lose some of my stitches. In fact, I even pulled out my usual line of "You cannot possibly screw it up so badly that I cannot fix it." She didn't believe me. When I finally got her to drop one end of my circulars, the look of wonder on her face was a sight to see.
It was a tad strange to see newbies questioning my abilities, but then again, they also didn't want to fondle my yarn. Poor, broken newbies.
And then there was an orphan!!! She was running around the Panera, screeching at the top of her lungs and I hauled out Mark's old line of "It must be an orphan because children with parents don't act like that." I don't know if they heard me or not, but, suddenly, there was a parent (both of them were actually present) chasing after the child, who was only a couple years old and really needed some very close supervision. Then again, why wasn't the child home in bed at 8:30?
Now I know why I never had children. Oh, wait, my children wouldn't have behaved like that.
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