There is always the capacity for joy

I want to be friends until one of us dies.

Wow.

Hearing that will definitely set you on your ear. I can tell you my jaw hit the floor and I believe I may have been temporarily speechless. Yes, Cathy, these things do happen from time to time.

This followed NG asking me if he was a toxic person. Points to me for not falling back on my old tried and true, "If you have to ask, the answer is no" and actually answering the question. Not exactly my strength, but this also happens from time to time. I'm really working here on giving straight answers to straight questions and not making people pull teeth. Yes, CV, these things do happen from time to time.

NG also told me yesterday that I am wickedly funny and I don't know many people who will disagree with that. In fact, some people would say my sense of humor is downright evil. Like making someone laugh at me when I know that CM will think he's really laughing at her or like suggesting that the next time CM decided to watch television in her towel, someone should push her out the door, closing the door and grabbing the towel. Now, would I really do that? Absolutely not, but it's kind of fun to think about. So, you see, I am evil; really, I am.

Apparently, however, my sense of humor managed to show through my depressed state because when I started talking to, and met, NG, I was severely depressed. When I look back, I can see just how bad things were. I was nearly silent (yes, really, these things do happen from time to time). I broke out of it on Saturday night to a point but I don't know how I made it there and back without running into an embankment. Seriously. And I had a lovely time while I was there, but hindsight is 20/20 and maybe I shouldn't have gone. Then again, maybe I only made it another week because I did.

I'm reminded of a scene in Firefly, in the episode "War Stories," when Niska says, "Now we will meet the real you." NG may actually think I'm quiet... and somewhat submissive... and probably not opinionated in the slightest. I'm looking forward to seeing NG again and this time, he gets to meet the real me, all piss and vinegar.

By the way, it isn't too late yet to run the otherway. I'll just give the object I'm knitting for you to someone else. (Yes, CV, you know what it is.)